Topic-icon Furrball's Rules of Good NLHE Poker

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22 Mar 2016 02:28 - 22 Mar 2016 03:00 #31636 by Furrball
Furrball created the topic: Furrball's Rules of Good NLHE Poker
I'll be adding chapters as soon as I discover fun ultimate truths.
Stay tuned. Let's start with:
You know, like when you have AJ and you flop or turn
two pair? If you've got a big stack you may wish to trap
shorter stacks, waiting for them to hit something that
should STATISTICALLY be something less than what you have,
because we know from Antonio Esfandiari it's HARD to make
a pair, go figure... In reality, chances are the opponent
has exact complementary cards to the straight, and would
never call anything before the river, to then proceed and
make Broadway on the river, where you will be ready to call
the shove and you're therefore doomed. This will happen in
99.5% of the cases, befuddling all attempts to explain
this frequency in a scientifically sound way. Truth is:
destiny does NOT like traps, for unknown reasons.
In general, NEVER trap with two pair or trips (including a
set of aces, cf. "Negreanu vs. Ruggeri"). PLAY BAD, DONK THE
I mean, you know when you're betting for protection and
plenty of fishes are around, ready to call your top two
pair with their single, bottom pair, believing you're
obviously and shamelessly bluffing? Chances are in 98% of
cases they will hit trips on the turn, and unknowingly
avoid disaster. A low bet will probably do no good to your
cause because you're gonna get a small pot out of your big
hand, BUT will tragically convince the fish that you're
not bluffing. If you bet the minimum, they're especially
likely to fold immediately believing you have a monster,
and will carefully avoid hitting trips or better with a
2-outer on the turn, even if they'd have plenty of pot odds
to try exactly that.
This is a logical consequence of Chapter 2. If you really
can't keep your bet small because you have several
opponents and REALLY have to make them pay to draw, then
this clever feature could help honest players win the hand
there (as they deserve) without crashing into improbable,
but then almost certain, rivers. Thanks to this advanced
software feature, you could SHOW YOUR HAND to the fishes,
possibly along with a table, tailored to their hole cards,
showing them the ACTUAL, MATHEMATICAL CHANCE for them to
hit their miracle hand. This will help you convince them
that it's obviously safe to fold, and win the small pot
instead of investing chips to build it up until it's stolen
by the appropriate donk(s) on the other side. In short,
a way to go: "hey, look, I've got two pair / I've flopped
Negreanu v. Ruggeri --

foot note for the mentally challenged:
this is a parody and meant to be fun, not to be taken seriously,
DON'T play like it says :)

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31 Mar 2016 22:04 - 31 Mar 2016 22:15 #31761 by Furrball
Furrball replied.
The problem here is that the donkey will _ALWAYS_ call; see,
it's not really that the donkey believes he will win, or that
you don't have it, it's just that he CANNOT fold, because
it's personal, and folding equals submission/demise,
therefore he will call your 80%-likely-to-win hand with the
complete nothingness he'd pathetically tried to bluff you
with (just as he did through the last 1843282 hands).
And usually hit the river. All you can do there is waiting
your fate and possibly lose the minimum.
Here follows a typical case for reference: note how the smart opponent, in a heads-up situation, decides to instantly RAISE your all in, too, because that's even more scary anyway. Calling shoves is for fags...
Warning: Spoiler! [ Click to expand ]

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02 Apr 2016 09:11 #31785 by Furrball
Furrball replied.
I mean, those that mark the line between so-so players
and GREAT players, and require all your chips to go in.
In roughly 86% of cases, where you're far ahead with one
card to come, the river will explode in your face.
The exact reason is unknown, but we can presume fate
does NOT like wanna-be great players, unless they're the
truly chosen ones. So if you KNOW you're ahead on a pair
and your opponent is about to bluff all his chips again,
your best move is to outsmart destiny and... just fold.
Maybe you'll catch up later, with a much more standard,
easy, and affordable call, just don't be tempted to make
the GREAT one, the one that'd make you feel like "wow,
look how good I am". That's gonna fail, almost for sure.
Here follows an emblematic case for the student:
Warning: Spoiler! [ Click to expand ]

I know what you might be thinking: that luck will even out in the long run, and great plays will be rewarded for greater justice. But... no, not really. It's not a matter of statistics, it really is a fundamental principle. You may, for instance, think that it would be cool, in critical pots, to be able to hit a "run it twice" (or even more) button to see if you can reduce variance after putting all your chips in with the best hand. Nope, you'd lose anyway. Want an example? here's the typical Wiggins vs. Hellmuth case:

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07 Oct 2016 01:21 #34236 by KYFHO
KYFHO replied.
Any more lessons?
The following user(s) said Thank You: boehmi, Ghost__, Furrball

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18 May 2017 02:26 - 18 May 2017 02:29 #37559 by marfig
marfig replied.
Now we need to get to know the cards on a deck.

- 2, also called deuces. There's two deuces in a deck.
- 3, there's three.
- 4, There's 4 of these cards in a deck. And so on up to 10. This is why these cards have numbers. To help you remember.
- Jacks. Depends on how many Jacks you know. Between a few hundred if you live in USA, and none if you live anywhere else in the world. If your name is jack, this card is a jocker.
- Queen. There is only one. And it's yours.
- King. That's you. I usually glue a passport-size photo to it to help me remember.
- Ace. Plenty. Most powerful card. The more there are, the more expensive the deck is.

About the suits:

Spades. Very sharp, but I prefer clubs.
Clubs. Weapon of choice of a poker warrior.
Diamonds and hearts. Rubbish for masculine poker warriors. You can throw them away. But highly valued by the ladies. So keep a few around in case you get lucky.

So, onto the game. Pre-flop strategies:

Because Jacks depend on how many you know. You should always go all-in when having a Jack. If someone else knows more Jacks than you, you want them to fold. And if someone knows less than you, they'll may think they have the upper hand and call right into your trap. I've seen players go all-in with J6. This is a good strategy if there are between 10 to 7 players, because there's only six sixes and you have one.

Queens or Kings are also good cards to go all-in. Because they are high ranking cards. Period.

Going all-in with Aces can't get any better. In poker, people always bet thinking the other has one or two aces. And you just showed them your power.

Flop Strategy:

Numbered cards are always good to go all-in if they come with a jack, queen, king or ace. If they don't, wait for this moment and if you make at least a pair go all-in at this point. If you didn't make a pair, this is not the hand of a poker warrior and you should fold.

Turn and Rive Strategy:

You should be just relaxing and waiting for other players to still place their bets. You've dealt with that way ahead of everyone else.

Good game and have fun!
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10 Jul 2017 21:23 - 10 Jul 2017 21:46 #38130 by Furrball
Furrball replied.
Yes, KYFHO, one!
Freshly inspired today! ;)
Well, especially if you're in early position - which means you'd
have to act first - and especially if the blinds are high in a late
stage of the tournament, and you're holding a complete airball
or, at best, a very weak hand, then BET immediately. And if the
remaining player(s) call, then you must DOUBLE BARREL them,
to clear the hand from all the live opponents, leaving only the
poor all-in player who is totally bound to lose even if you're
holding a meek 43 off-suite. Should the all-in player NOT LOSE,
you'll have kept that player in the game, and s/he will ever be
grateful; so, you see that's obviously a win-win situation, and
a prime example of good tournament strategy. So don't wait,
hold no doubt: BET! SCARE everyone away from those hands,
for the greater good of humanity!

Oh, forgot the example: in the following emblematic case, the dumb cat in seat 1 was holding king ten of clubs, and would have made a king-high straight (and the stone-cold nuts) weren't for the appropriate min bet ($3200) from the poker-savvy player to his right, heroically saving the poor "falco" from ultimate doom.

Warning: Spoiler! [ Click to expand ]

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